Wednesday, December 7, 2011

every breath.

I have been an absolutely dreadful blogger lately.
I would try giving you excuses, but that that would
just be entirely irrelevant.

Thankfully, I have managed to navigate the city without
 a single slip to write about
(and thus, entertain you with) thus far.
However, I have had my fair share of unfortunate events
since we have spoken last. oh, have-I-ever!

However, the many positive days, moments and opportunities 
have fully outweighed those signature "Chloe Days" that come
and go every once and awhile.
So, this morning I come to you with a little tune that
just makes me gleam on the inside.

of course it is a Boyce Tune.
cough cough the-new-official-video cough cough
these guys are magical. really.


Those who have true meaning to your life
and build up your spirit
will stay a part of you no matter the
distance, time or season.
With every breath of me.


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Friday, September 30, 2011

you do the hokie pokie?

Lesson Learned this week:
no matter how sophisticated your diction may be,
you will always get the reaction "ohhhhhh, I see. So where are you from?"
Grr.



It's been another entertaining and educational Thursday
here on the Upper East.
As I continue to work on ditching the accent,
because immediately people either think you're
"just sOoOoO cute" 
(like not in the "heyyyy pretty lady" kinda cute,
more like the "oh my grandma lives in Texas too" kinda cute)
or completely naive.


"Wassup buddy? I got street smarts!"
Okay, well I'm working on it.


First, I gotta learn how to predict "the sub" a little more efficiently.
yikes, taste the rainbow.
I'm on my way to class and I left 45 minutes early,
how 'bout that?!
to get all the way down to Chelsea Pier. (aka. from Tennessee to Florida)
I had been that way before and knew exactly which trains to get on,
I just wanted to make sure I was impressively early for my presentation.
ha, no no no, remember my name is Chloe`...


Caught the 6 train to 51st street and did the usual
BOOK IT DOWN THE "STAIRS OF DEATH"
to make my transfer to the E train.
I made it in RECORD time down those stairs
practice makes perfect, by December I'll be slidin' down the rails
Just as I get to the station I see a train pull up.
Look-ee there I'm ALREADY a pro.
I saw the letter on the train was not an E,
but an M.
"Aww, well I've heard of the M...
you know its on the same track as the E
and the M.T.A. is always screwy anyway..."
of course I jumped on that train.
of course I knew what I was doing, I got this. I got this.
of course two stops later I realize.
this ain't goin' to spit me out at 10th ave.
no sir-ee.


I panicked and flipped out my trusty map.
Thank goodness I didn't let my pride get the best of me,
though I tried my best to hide it behind my purse.
I already stick out like a sore thumb because I refuse to wear my iPod in public. rude.
Anyway, I found another option to get me
3 avenues over to where I needed to be... not too far off track.

I hopped off and made a b-line for the L train.
"Attention all passengers there is an L train to 8th Avenue approaching the station"

SAH-WEET! Here we go!


I look down the track... no L train approaching the station?
I keep staring, and glaring, and tapping my foot...
and finally here comes the L train moving at a painfully slow speed.
What in the world has gotten into the L?

After literally watching every single face in the subway cars go by with
disgruntled expressions on their faces like "just get me off this train"
I got a little worried but still hopped on.
The doors didn't shut.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are held momentarily by traffic."
Traffic? Traffic?
Every New Yorkers curse word.
Me and literally the 5 other hispanic men just
looked at one another and rolled our eyes.

Five minutes later,
the doors still have not shut,
and I am the only one left standing on the train.
Yeah, this sucker ain't movin.


I have fifteen minutes to run 15 blocks and 6 avenues over.
yeah no, not gonna happen.
So, my only option... and worst nightmare.
A CAB:
AHHHHHHHHH!
Don't let the smiles fool you.
I gathered all my guts and pride I had left,
and ran to the nearest corner.
How the h@#$ do you do this?
This is where my scooter would have come in handy.


What do I have to lose?
I eyed a business man standing on the
opposite corner casually standing with his hand
waving his iPhone in the air like he had the magic stick.
And here comes a cab whizzing up to Mr. Slick.
Okay, okay so my Blackberry probably isn't going to stop traffic,
I'm going to play this the old-fashioned classy way.
I shoved out my hand and started lightly waving
it about stroking the air daintily so that I didn't look too needy
and utterly desperate.


They just kept whizzing by.
and by,
and by,
and by.
Okay new plan.
More noticeable wave,
I then began WAVING the air down at a brisk speed
creating a little more friction and umph.
Let's also point out that I am wearing a BRIGHT coral dress,
probably where I went wrong. Those not wearing black scream "I'm not from around here"




and by
and by
and by
they went...


This calls for desperate measures.
Right then and there I about started doing the chicken dance on 8th Avenue,
no, no wait.... that screams "country girl"
the macarana?
the cha-cha slide?
I got it, the hokie pokie.
Thank you folks, I'll be here allllll day! Tips appreciated!


All of the sudden a business man who had probably been watching my cab waving dance
(should have tried the "bend and snap")
from a distance came over
and jumped in front of me!
I thought he was going to STEAL MY CAB!!!!

There is a God is Heaven!
He started pointing at me while continuing to walk ahead in his afternoon rush,
what in the world he is trying to help my advertise my mini show?
Nope, sure as the world...
within 10 seconds,
I had a CAB swerve off the road right in front of me.
My mouth dropped.
"THANK YOU KIND SIR!!!!!!" I yelled to him in the distance.
Bless your little heart, these Yankees are secretly sweet : )

"West 27th and 10th, please...
and like.... as fast as you possibly can, I'm late."



The cabby just looked at me in the rearview mirror and laughed.
Duh, you're late... you're in New York, get over it little girl.
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Monday, September 26, 2011

precious

selected happy images of the day:

"all things cute"
This is currently my phone background,
who doesn't want to wake up to this?


most precious animated character, ever.

"I am cute as a button but poop faster than I eat"
gets me every time.

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Sunday, September 25, 2011

Revelations

This entire week has been all about revelations,
some happy (that I have shared in previous posts)
some out-of-the-blue
some far fetched
and some that just build character, from the inside out


here goes Chloe` with one of those lists again.
maybe, i'll share some of those "out-of-the-blues"


One:

I got up into a full headstand in yoga today
whew, finally, my head really is tough enough
and right after we came out of the restorative posture
and into shavasana
(though I wanted to do a cartwheel)
the instructor said,
"now, sink below the clutter"
what clutter? there's no clutter in here, its yoga!
we've been quiet for an hour!
I'll give you clutter... clutter is all that research I have to do later,
and then comparing prices at the grocery store
and then I guess you could consider my background music clutter
and definitely that paper that's due thursday 
that I have no idea what I'm going to write about...

oh, that's what she meant.
right there it was
clutter.

Revelation (#1):
sometimes it takes standing on your head
to make your head the lowest point
to literally and mentally sink below the clutter
Because you can bet-your-bottom-dollar
that your mind is the most focused
when your body is relying on your brain to not let go.

I get it now.
sink below the clutter.
It's there, trust me.
you just have to be aware of it first.
Okay, so cats are way cuter when doing tripod headstand.
Two:
I am a math nerd.
not like that any new news.

Numbers are my first love.
Maybe that's my problem : )
I mean come on,
they never, ever change
never argue, they always work
the puzzle pieces always fit together.
there's a solution to everything.
yep, I'm in love.

Therefore, I had another 
revelation (#2):
Why the heck am I not going to be an
accountant?

Gosh this stuff is 
the bomb-diggity.
And no, I did not just take this class for fun,
I mean who does that anyway?
How could it not be fun when you have a calculator that
can text you (look closely) when you're taking a little break from numbers?
Text you later yo, I'm accountin' here!

emmm..... Maybe in another life, i'll crunch numbers
instead of coffee beans.

Three:
Before there was Narnia,
there was Lion King.
And in 2011, there was Lion King 3-D.
It was magical.
Better than Disney World.

Revelation (#3):
Rafiki is a prophet.
don't laugh, he IS.
I walked out of the theatre 
and looked at Megan,
"Well Lordy girl we can sleep in tomorrow,
we just went to church!"


Hear me out:
Simba: I know what I have to do. 
But going back will mean facing my past. I've been running from it for so long. 
[Rafiki hits Simba on the head with his stick] 
Simba: Ow! Jeez, what was that for? 
Rafiki: It doesn't matter. It's in the past. 
[laughs] 
Simba: Yeah, but it still hurts. 
Rafiki: Oh yes, the past can hurt. 
But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or... learn from it. 
[swings his stick at Simba again who ducks out of the way] 
Rafiki: Ha. You See? So what are you going to do? 

Mr. Rafiki hit me with his stick on that one.
Amen.
(and I love the fact that an African WOMAN
plays Rafiki on Broadway)


and my favorite:
"You won't find him here. The King has returned."

shew, Lord. Come-on-some-bod-ay!


On another note:
Whoever thought of enlarging Pumbaa's 
butt to 3-dimensional form deserves an Oscar.
Really folks, I have not laughed so hard at a 
warthog in a week.... okay, ever.
blessed with revelations and
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Thursday, September 22, 2011

good karma and five dolla flowers

today, on mini Friday,
I just have a few little anecdotes to share that
gave me great pleasure today.

to make up for my staircase lock-in,
nail rip-off, and Bieber Fever stampede
I informed you of last week.
eh-hemmmm.
To begin:

One:
I got two job interviews lined up today.
Cross your fingers.
If getting your nails done costs a mini fortune,
I can only image what a little hair chop will cost.
ugh.
If I play my cards right, I may be secretary-ing or
barista-ing, the only thing I'm truly qualified for.

Two:
I'm currently like a little kid 
when mom leaves the house
with a brand new bike.
Byeeee mom.

It looked like it was going to rain all day
so I did not take Lucy XXS out for a
debut spin.
BUT, I did occasionally loop around the coffeetable and into the bathroom
a couple times.
But only a couple 
(ah-hem...after-I-would-finish-each-paragraph-in-my-infinite-essays...ah-hem)
poor folks under us. sorry 3C.

Three:
I walk into yoga tonight and I am calmly
resting on my mat stretching with my eyes closed
gathering all the yogi mojo I can get flowin' in there.
"Hellllllo friends, I'm Sara, I'll be subbing for Billy tonight"
I look up.
SLAP ME TWICE, SHE'S BLACK.... AND BALD!
Now, we all know how I feel about these women
It was all I could do to resist staring at her the entire class.

Oh great! So now I'm here all tryin' to get in the yoga mode
which always involves "accepting yourself as you are...
extending mercy to your insecurities...loving what you have been given..."
And here I am all consumed with jealousy!
Ugh, I wanna be black and bald!

And so to resurrect my good mojo,
I set my intention and mantra for the class:
you're not black and bald,
you're white, embrace it.
maybe one day you'll be black and bald.
love your skin.
love you hair.
you're not black and bald.
I bet she looks better in downward dog... because, of course,
she's black...and bald.
stop staring down the yogi,
you're not black...

yeah, yeah, yeah, namaste.

Four:
For a moment during yoga 
I was able to actually concentrate and tap into
my "inner strength" when I suddenly glanced down
at my hands on the mat in plank position.
EUREKA! 

My fingernail polish matches my mat!
I mean that has to be like extra karma points right?
I'm so glad I decided to bust out the polish
last night instead of doing that dreadful reading.
This has been my all-time favorite color since
the famous poker polish scene in Parent Trap.
And yes... I still have this from the 4th grade.
don't tell me you didn't go get that polish
after seeing the movie too!


namaste...again.

Five:
So, now I'm on my way home from yoga
and I was, as usual, caught by the fresh flower stand.
I decided to get a little bunch for our living room.
I found the little flower boy,
who happened to be somewhere around my age (maybe?)
and we started a little convo about how
lovely the flowers were and how
I would just loooooove to have them for my living room.
I may have caught on and started twirlin' my hair a teensy bit.
I was on the BRINK of getting my free flirty flowers...

and here comes pops outta the store asking me if I was gettin' some flowers.
doggone it.
I coughed up the five bucks.
next time buddy, next time. winkwink.


Six:
Walking up to the outside door of my apartment,
I was all loaded down with my bookbag,
a five dollar bouquet of flowers,
an unnecessarily large water bottle,
a yoga mat strapped to my back
and fresh fruit bursting from my arms.
Clearly, I was not planning on going anywhere else but
to unload all this crap onto my bed 
if I even made it up the stairs.
Yet, for some reason, the psychic/palm reader lady
(that always sits two doors down from us)
must have missed the load in my arms and
starting yelling at me to come inside (like she does five times a day)
"What do I look like lady?! Like a have bad karma?
NOOOOO sir-ree.
My fingernails matched my yoga mat tonight,
which clearly means I'm destined for good things in my life.
namaste."
yeah okay. so I didn't really say that.
but I think my armload spoke for itself.
I wasn't stoppin for a palm read.
I just wanted to reiterate to you my amusement with 
my serendipitous coordination.

Seven:
I have yet to fall.
see told-ya my karma was goin' up.,
predict THAT lady!

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